I am mouldy and

Damp just like my expensive

Flat from yesteryear.


Haiku #154 (The Sommelier)

Generally speaking,
People swirl the wine, let it
Sit on their palette,

Inhale the sweet notes
(Oaky, musky, symphony),
Then say; “Oh, yes please,

That’ll pair nicely
With my meal.” Kath, however,
Said: “aw fuck no im

Not drinkin that shit
Nah wouldnt touch that with
A fuckin barge pole.”

The waiter stops. Stares.
A full bottle of vintage
Red must be poured out.

And all she can say is:
“Turned to vinegar. Cellar’s
Probs too warm, ya nong.”